Historic Scribblings
by thecauldronmeasuringoffice
Summary: A study into the daily communication habits of the rare 'Weasley-us Twins-ia' and the rarer 'Lee-o Jordan-ium'. Recommended by the 'Firetruck Appriciation Committee' and 'The Brotherhood Of Antelopes'. Rated for questionable subjects.


Historic Scribblings

**Was it me or did Binns just say 'pornography'? – Fred**

_I do believe he did Fred - George_

**Why is he soiling the good name of porn by mentioning it in this class?**

_I believe it had something to do with goblin rioting_

_**Is nothing sacred to those devils?**_

_Apparently not_

**Porn should be sacred!**

_Why?_

**God probably has porn!**

_Of who?_

**...**

_Yeah, that's who_

**Yeah! Who is the best partner ever!**

_Does God have a partner?_

**A class partner?**

_Yeah, Fred, a class partner, God needed help with school_

**Yeah, 'cause didn't everybody say Merlin was an idiot, before he became the most powerful wizard ever?**

_Do they? I've never heard this_

**I swear they do. I've heard it somewhere**

_But where?_

**Hermione?**

_Funny how your mind jumps so quickly to our favourite bushy-haired, bookworm..._

**I DO NOT like Hermione**

_I'll tell Hermione you said, and I think she'll be very upset_

**I DON'T!**

_You do too, and you spent third year telling me how cute she was_

**I'm over it, really**

_Sure..._

**Really**

_*raises eyebrows*_

**You don't believe me!**

_This surprises you?_

**You can't even trust me?**

_No, no I can't_

**... Fair enough**

Hey guys! - Lee

**Hi Lee** _Hey Lee_

What's going on?

**It's a phenomenally exciting day, so I'm just going to say... Not much. You?**

My social life is in a puddle on the floor right now

_I wondered what was on my shoes_

My life is on your shoes

_That makes me feel special, weirdly_

**Yeah, he could have chosen to have anyone's life on his shoes and he chose yours, feel proud, and then get back to taking notes, it's your turn**

Oh yeah, later

**Bye** _See you_

_OK, that distracted us for 156 seconds_

**You know how many seconds have passed?**

_I've been counting_

**Why?**

_It's History Of Magic, why wouldn't I?_

**Good point, good point**

_What now?_

**WHAT now?**

_You thinking what I'm thinking?_

**You, me, tonight, dancing, 10 000 monkeys?**

_Well no, but that does seem like an excellent idea_

**So... what WERE you thinking?**

_I was thinking- damn it, I've forgotten!_

**Don't you just hate it when you're right in the middle of a sentence and you forget what you're talking about?**

_Or when you've had your hand up for ages and all you've thought about is the answer you're going to give and then the teacher asks for it and you've forgotten?_

**Or when you go somewhere ad you forget why you were going there?**

_I hate that, I hate it so much_

**It's so annoying!**

_*exasperation*_

**I should really remember to write it down or something**

_Why?_

**I don't know, but I always seem to remember things I've written down better, than when I read them. It's weird**

_Yeah, it is a bit, eh?_

**Eh?**

_Eh_

**OK**

_Alright_

**Yes!**

_Why are you questioning the denotation of my questions?_

**Because I'm awesome**

_Oh yeah?_

**Hell yeah**

_HELL yeah?_

**HELL YEAH**

_Why hell?_

**Because it looks cooler than just YEAH**

_It does actually... but does it sound cooler?_

***shouts 'hell yeah'***

_Wow. It actually does_

**I told you so!**

_Yeah, you did, I'm actually a little insulted_

**Why?**

_Damn it, I'm the smart one!_

**Which isn't saying much**

_No, no it isn't_

**But if you're the smart one, I must be the good looking one, right?**

_No, I got everything, you're just a dumping ground for rejected Ron-ish genes_

**I am not!**

_Yes you are!_

**Am not!**

_Am so!_

**Am not!**

_Am so!_

**Not!**

_Yes!_

**Not!**

_Yes!_

**Not!**

_Yes!_

**N!**

_Y!_

**N!**

_Y!_

**N!**

_Y!_

**N!**

_Y!_

**What were we arguing about?**

_Dunno_

**It was immature**

_And?_

**Oh yeah! Ha ha ha ha! I forgot who we were for a second!**

_*laughs*_

***points at self* Funny man!**

_No, I got those genes too_

**Damn! Is there anything I do have?**

_Really bad hair?_

**We're identical, idiot**

_I make it look good, you don't_

**How so?**

_It's that one fleck of blue in your eyes, it throws the entire hairstyle off balance_

**It does not! If anything it adds to my suave and debonair look!**

_Suave AND debonair. Ohhhh... I'm scared_

**And so you should be!**

_Uh huh_

**You should, I will cook your liver, slow roast it for 12 hours in a light marinade and serve it to Mum as her anniversary dinner**

_Why don't you just go full out and serve it on our birthday?_

**You know what? That's an excellent idea!**

_I knew you'd love it! I might just invite you to our next Harry-mancy session!_

**Harry-mancy? As in telling the future based on Harry?**

_No, we just worship him_

**Why?**

_Only cool kids worship their little brother's best friends_

**Totally, totally... I like cheese**

_*whispers 'I don't know him'*_

**I'm your brother!**

_No you're not!_

**What do you mean? I was raised with you and everything!**

_What didn't Mum tell you? Well, I'm sorry to break this news to you, but... you Fred Weasley, are the love child of Dave the Barbarian and the grindylow in Professor Lupin's tank_

**But I look just like you!**

_Protean Charm_

**Sadness...**

_It must be_

**I'm bored now**

_Cool_

**Boredom is not cool! How can you have the audacity to say that?**

_Because I'm awesome_

**No you're not!**

_Yes I am!_

**Well I'm awesomer, Saggy says so**

_Saggy?_

**Yeah, you remember, the house-elf in the basement, who's in the laundry, that's hooking up with Dobby, that one**

_I remember now! THAT house-elf in the basement, who's in the laundry, that's hooking up with Dobby, RIGHT... gotcha_

**Huzzah! I knew you would!**

_I wonder about you_

**So does Derf**

_Who's Derf?_

**My evil alter-ego**

_You have an evil alter-ego_

**Yeah, doesn't everyone?**

_I don't_

**MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

_What... was that?_

**Derf, he took control for a – I WILL KILL YOU ALL!**

_All of who?_

**Just everyone basic- YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!**

_Let me guess, you're in Amsterdam, in amedium-budget motel, in Room 736_

**How did you know?**

_Twin-tepathy_

**Awes- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**I'm pretty sure he's gone now. Whoo! That was tough!**

_You know what?_

**No, what?**

_We should have a bet_

**That we should, that we should**

_I bet... that you can't scoff an entire jug of pumpkin juice without spilling some of it_

**You're on bro! Going down!**

_Ha! You wish!_

**Just you wait, I will destroy you!**

_That's what you think!_

**It's going down tomorrow!**

_You know it!_

**Bring it on, sir!**

_I shall, dear f-_

**...**

**A/N: Hey everyone! This is Historic Scribblings, a one-shot formerly known as a series called Notes. I tried to make it better, but I made it worse instead, so I deleted this and am offering you this instead. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, no profit, are we cool?**

**PS. I don't need reviews, I just write for myself. I enjoy alerts and favourites just as much as I enjoy reviews. So subscribe, fave and comment, everyone else who uses the internet too much.**


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